Dead Again! Best, Worst, Predictable and Shocking from Natural Products Expo West 2014

By Crabby McSlacker

So as you may recall from the first Dead-Blog of Natural Products Expo West 2014, we've established that I'm too lazy and greedy to "live blog" a trade show like most sensible bloggers. The whole "reporting" thing tends to get too much in the way of Eating Free Samples As Fast as You Can Snarf Them Up.  

And it's the same deal today!  I'm in and out with clients to talk to and shelter cats to visit and Other Shit to do, and can't get it together to post all the pictures and impressions at once. Plus there are lots of "healthy" snacks left to sample and I can't do it all in one sitting or I'll explode into a huge four-alarm gluten free organic non-gmo stevia-sweetened conflagration. Not pretty.

Also, sorry, I know I've been spotty about comment reply, which is especially lame as the comments to recent posts were so great, but will try to pop in better later this afternoon.  But I ABSOLUTELY LOVE when you guys reply to each other and talk amongst yourselves!  Do you have any idea how freakin' rare that it is in the blogosphere?

OK, a brief Part One and I'm off to the gym...


(All times West Coast even though Blogger still thinks I'm in Provincetown).

2:20 PM:

Crabby notices that she's still got a lot of non-blog things left to do today, and yet there are even more photos and opinions to share!  She has got to be the slowest photo-blogger on the planet.

So, sorry, Cranketeers, there is at least one more dang post about the expo, and the products featured therein, comin' down the pike.  Thanks for your patience!

12:50 AM:

More pictures in random order, with no effort to make them flow logically because my brain officially shuts down by mid-day. (Note to self: remember this the next time the notion of "blogging throughout the day instead of finishing up in the morning" comes up.)

At the beginning of Day 2, with as yet mostly empty bag:


The irony of the giant tote bag emblazoned with the words "Think Thin," soon to be stuffed completely full with treats and snacks, was not lost on me. But it didn't keep me from dutifully filling it up with junky natural snacks either.

Can you guess what "arty" water contains?


Yep, artichokes!

Not as disgusting as it sounds, kinda refreshing, though it's not gonna make it onto my grocery list I don't think.


Just sayin', I'm not the only one who was scooping up treats, but the Lobstah was far more restrained on the consumption end than I was.


One of the 9 bazillion gluten free offerings.  Nothing all that healthy about them, but YUM, they were really, really good.



As hard as it was to stop scarfing up food momentarily, occasional breaks were required for rest...


..and caffeination.

(Not pictured: the 467 dixie cup sized coffee samples Crabby consumed throughout the day.  And sorry, she didn't notice what kind and whether they were good or not.)

The Lobster doesn't like coffee and was caught sneaking an unnamed and entirely unnatural carbonated beverage noted for its high caffeine content.  She downed it as quickly and unobtrusively as possible as she feared she might be escorted off the premises.


And Crabby continued to find new ways to work on "personal growth" issues!  In, um, many dimensions.





8:11 AM:

I'm recalling one of the BEST things about the Expo Adventure, and it happened before we even got in the car to head up to Anaheim. Knowing I was gonna eat like a starving water buffalo for two days straight, I went to the park to get in a quick Playground Workout ahead of the impending gluttony, and guess what happened?




A dream come true! A Cranketeer spotted in the Wild!

The Hungry Hydrologist was kind enough to approach and utter the words I've always wanted to hear in a public venue:  

"Are you Crabby?"

YES!!!

It was a great start to the Expo adventure. BTW, the Hungry Hydrologist is totally adorable and charming. I maintain Cranky Fitness readers are the most awesome in the world.

And speaking of Rare Sightings:


I made the Lobster take the picture above because it was one of the few times we saw actual fruits and vegetables at the expo that did not come straight out of a package.

Would have probably been smart to notice what the heck was being advertised though, huh?

What was Unsurprising and Predictable was that there was generally an inverse relationship between "healthy" and "tasty."

Aside from being made from natural ingredients, there was nothing particularly healthy about these Hannahmax Baking Cookie Chips made from sugar, white flour, butter and eggs.


But OMFG, these are insanely delicious!  They taste homemade and are totally crunchy and addictive. In the "natural but non-healthy ingredients division" I'd call these BEST IN SHOW.



Are you guys tired of Dead-blogging yet?  Please break it to me gently 'cause there's more to come throughout the day!

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