Kale and Egg-White Scramble: Easy Recipe for the Culinarily Challenged


By Crabby McSlacker

This post has a secret sneaky agenda:  to encourage readers who can actually cook to think about sending me their awesome healthy recipes and accompanying pictures!

So let's set the bar on the low side shall we?  Here is a quick photo-guide to making...

Krabby's Krapload of Kale Scramble!



What's awesome about this recipe:  it yields a huge-ass filling plate of food for a little over 200 calories, it's full of protein, and it consists of mostly healthy things plus a couple of more questionable ingredients that I'm fine with but others might think are poison that you can freely swap out or omit.

Note: if you don't eat kale or are vegan or allergic to eggs, don't bother swapping things out... just say screw it and go have a poptart or a bowl of Lucky Charms with soymilk or something.

But before we start, say hello to Kale!

There are so many kale health benefits you could die of boredom just reading all of them. Which I guess wouldn't make it so healthy after all?


I won't pretend that if you hate kale you will love this recipe.  If you hate kale, use something else green, though green M&M's may be of questionable nutritional value.

Ok, here we go with the..

Krapload 'O Kale Scramble:

Serves: 4.  

(Keeps fine in fridge for a few days for make ahead breakfasts, but won't freeze well.)

Step One: Remove Stems (unless you like 'em) and Chop Up A Bunch of Kale.  

I hold the stem in one hand and run a sharp knife along the sides of the stem--not pictured, because have you ever tried to take a picture of something you're doing with your hands with a camera phone?



Note on quantity: the weight vs volume of kale thing is a huge mystery to me.  A grocery store kale bundle yielded about 10 cups of chopped kale leaves and weighed 180 grams or about 6.3 ounces. But kale is supposed to weigh about 67 grams per cup which is 670 grams. WTF? 180 vs 670??? I used the actual weight for figuring out the nutritional info. I'm thinking maybe its the stems/no stems thing or our scale is fucked up. Whatever, the difference is not that big per portion and these are kale calories, which by definition do not count.

If you are impatient like me you can sprinkle with water and nuke for a few minutes to save cooking time and brave whatever horrifying transmutations microwaves might inflict on the poor kale leaves. Otherwise just cook longer.



And hello to you, EVOO!

Using a nonstick pan, it doesn't take much oil, a teaspoon works fine for me.



Saute kale.  

Notice how we are skipping all kinds of wonderful healthy ingredients like onions or mushrooms or bell peppers?  This is because chopping the kale seems like enough effort for one meal. If you are less lazy, more veggies=more virtue.

Add Two Small or One Large Carton of Egg Whites



If you are paleo/primal, you'll want real eggs with yolks and all, and will probably want to throw in a big slab o' pig meat and yak butter and who knows what else.  But I've seen relatively recent research that still says go easy on yolks. Plus, you get to eat a whole lot more eggs and protein if you just go with the whites.

But I can't do the bright white "egg white only" thing, they freak me out.  I like the yellow kinds with a few extra ingredients to make them more like real eggs.




Add 8 tablespoons (1/2 cup) Cheese that Doesn't Upset or Offend You.



Pecorino Romano is my choice because (a) it does not come from cows and is easier to digest and (b) it has lots of CLA and there are reputed health benefits for Percorino Romano cheese.

Plus it's salty and yummy and more than makes up for any No Yolks feeling of deprivation.






OK, we are almost done. Just stir it around and cook until it looks edible. Dump on plate




Wait, something's missing...

Something that claims to be "natural" but probably contains some sort of evil carcinogens because if something tastes smoky it's got to be bad for you, right?



Personally, I think it tastes more like barbecued potato chips than bacon, but, who knew? Barbecued potato chips are actually not a bad flavoring for eggs!



Note: this is a full sized dinner plate, so a serving size is not skimpy.



Want a better idea of what to do with eggs and kale?  Roni of Green Lite Bites has another quick Kale & Egg video:



Do you guys eat cooked breakfasts? Any thoughts about recipes, kale, eggs or anything else?

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