The Every Person's Guide to Trail Running Lingo

All respectable cults, cultures, and clubs have their own unique vocabulary.  Behold the Every Person's Guide to Trail Running Lingo, warning: guaranteed to offend you and/or make you laugh.

Running by Feel: Basically, it's not wearing a watch. Done by folks disillusioned by the road running religion, cheap as fuck, or forgetful like myself.

PR: Something runners use to create obnoxious posts on Facebook and athlete pages.

CR: Also known as Bragging Rights and obnoxious Facebook Posts.

PB: How Canadians say they've PR'd.  Aren't they cuuute?!

Technical: Trails made for rugged, rough, adventurous types. I believe you can look up Gary Robbins or Kilian Jornet and you'll get a good idea of this concept.

Sponsored: A runner who is willing to sell her/his soul for free shoes or a logo'd jersey. Or someone who is fast and has sold their body/blog/website for advertisement purposes.

No Meat Athlete: The folks who find themselves defending their food choices and B12 levels and have a good sense of superiority and guilt.

Paleo: The athletes who like to spoil dinner parties and nacho gorging sessions, but still drink copious amounts of craft brewed grain beverages. Also tend to have good sense of superiority and guilt. 

Road Runner: Runners of the Religious Watch Wearing Factions, Triathletes, and the Club of Suburban Child Bearing Middle Class. Could be of the Suunto, Garmin, or Polar denominations.

Trail Runner: The runners who claim that they went on a "run" where they hiked half of it and climbed over fallen tree logs the other half of the outing.  Look up James Varner in the Trailepedia. Didn't find him? Oh, yeah!  He's still out bushwhacking in the middle of no where.  I mean "running".

Pacer: Some lucky bastard's bitch.

Crew: Some lucky bastard's bitches.

Bonk: Some unlucky bastard running an ultra who thought it'd be a good idea to eat a ham and cheese sandwich at mile 20, and hasn't eaten since mile 20. Now it's mile 50. Ouch. Also known as running out of glycogen stores.

Elevation Gain: What you should've done in workouts before your first trail race.  Includes plenty of sweat, heavy breathing, and endorphins. Sound familiar? What's not to like?

Drop Bag: That bag of shit you never used at the aid station. More stuff = more anxious about the race.

FKT: A record folks can set without actually competing in person with other runners or giving much verification. Great for runners looking for a new challenge, introverts, fakes, or slow folks who wish they were fast.

Hokas: Clown Shoes. 100 mile shoes. The anti-Christ to the Minimalist Shoe Movement and arthritis. 

Minimalist: If you're not naked and shoeless I will not accept your minimalism. Case closed.

What terms do you have to add? Extra points for sarcasm and humor...


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