Crabby Works Out With Jillian Michaels, Then Blows Town

So I went to the gym with Jillian Michaels on my arm last week... and wouldn't you think it would have caused a bit of comment?  I thought I might have gotten at least a little bit of attention for it--after all, Jillian is so well-known she's a brand unto herself.

Not fooling anyone, am I? Yes, Jillian Michaels is indeed a brand. And she has lent her very marketable name and image to something called a BodyMedia Fit armband.  It was that personification of Jillian who clung snugly to my left bicep all day.  But hell, I figure if I'm supposed to associate the super-achieving, tenacious, on-your-ass-all-the-time qualities of Jillian Michaels with an armband...then I might as well give in to the marketeers and confuse the two completely. I'm a simple creature!

But even if Jillian is only an armband, it still leads to questions:

How did I end up with Jillian on my arm? What do I think of her? What's causing me to flee New England and abandon Cranky Fitness in the last week of a Blog Popularity Contest in which I could be roundly humiliated? And is all this preamble gonna lead to a freakin' giveaway this time or what?

UPDATE:  Sorry, the giveaway is now over! But if you're curious to find out what it's like to have one of these gizmos, check out the BodyMedia Fit Amband Review. (The rest of this post was written before the giveaway).

There is indeed a Review and Giveaway of the Bodymedia Fit Weight Management System coming up.  But I'll need to test it out for at least a couple of weeks to assess its accuracy.

And it should be a fun giveaway, because Jillian is pretty ambitious!  Check it out:  according to the PR email I got, the armband "captures over 5000 data points per minute using four seriously sophisticated sensors measuring motion, heat flux, skin temperature, and galvanic skin response."

It tracks steps taken, calories burned, physical activity levels and sleep duration and efficiency. It syncs with your computer and lets you set and track goals, note your progress or slackitude, and see all kinds of data about what your body has been doing all day.

So you're all ahead of me here now, right?  Because this means I will be reporting on what it's like to exercise, hang out, do errands, eat, drink, and even sleep with Jillian Michaels!

If the Giveaway Isn't Here Yet, Why the Hell Am I Mentioning it Now?

This is the sort of thing most bloggers wouldn't bother to explain, but because I am something of an asshole and a PR nightmare, believe in honesty and transparency, I'll give you the real reason:

In order for this to be a review and giveaway, and not just a review, I have to post about the BodyFit Media system three times.

So this post is Number One! And then the Review and Giveaway will be Number Two! And then announcing the winner will be Number Three and voila: you guys get one of these things to fight over too.

Will Canadians and Europeans be Eligible?

The good news is Yes! The bad news is that the reason is because they shipped me both units and I'm the one who's going to be schlepping down to the post office and forking over for postage and sending 'em out.

So Why Am I Abandoning Blog Duties and Putting Up a Crappy Post Devoid of Useful Health & Fitness Information Right in the Final Week of the Shape Blogger Poll?

Long-time regulars at Cranky Fitness are aware that the Lobster and I migrate every six months to a different coast. So by the next blog post, we'll be in San Diego. We're flying this year, not driving Fran the Van (she's sitting in a storage lot in Chula Vista behind a furniture store... at least we hope she's still sitting there), but there's still a crapload of things that have to be done to make the transition.  Are we complaining? No ma'am, we are not! We are all too aware how lucky we are to be bicoastal.

However, it means I will not be online much and can not hint, suggest, wheedle, implore, beg, plead, inveigle, or otherwise persuade anyone to help Cranky Fitness or other blogs you like better to a respectable finish in the Shape Blogger Poll which ends the 28th.  (And some people still report being able to vote once every day, which is an annoying twist to the whole thing.)

So anyway, stay tuned for the usual half-assed posts when we get settled on the west coast later this week, and stand by for the upcoming review/giveaway of Jillian's Bodyfit thingy!

 So Jillian... Was I good today?

Yes, Crabby... You were very good!

Awesome... Hey, you busy later?

Right here when you want me, Crabby.

Adios! And as long-timers may recall, I'm a white-knuckle flyer--so wish me luck.  If you wanna leave a comment about anything at all, I'll be sure to at least get online enough to check in. Because if there's anything I love more than pretending to sleep with celebrities, it's reading blog comments!

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