Crabby Goes to Boot Camp?

Long-time Cranky Fitness readers (all 3 of you; hi there!) may wonder if they've somehow been sucked through a wormhole and transported to an alternate, upside-down universe. Because for the second time in less than a week, the stubborn Crab is trying something new! First it was Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred and now...

Boot Camp??!!!

I'm shocked myself about this latest development. Here is how I always pictured Boot Camp:

Photo: muscl_mc

And I did not envision myself ever having to endure this experience! Unless maybe I was forced to at gunpoint. But since there are very few gun-toting thugs roaming around my neighborhood forcing people to go to exercise classes, I felt pretty safe assuming Boot Camp was something I never had to worry about.

But I was wrong! (Not about the roaming gun-toting exercise thugs. Still haven't seen 'em around).

So, what curious set of circumstances conspired to drag my cranky ass down to a local Boot Camp class this last Saturday morning? And what did I think of it? And does this story have a moral, or a happy ending, or a humiliating conclusion, or is it just going to be one long continuous bout of whining and silly digressions?


(And the answers are: yes, yes, no, yes!)

5 Good Reasons I Thought I Would Never Go to Boot Camp:

1. The name "Boot Camp" itself freaks me out. It invokes a military training experience specially designed to break down recruits, both physically and mentally, rendering them exhausted, humiliated, obedient and pliable. Boot camp is supposed to be awful--that's the point! And how do I know this? Um, well, I go to the movies!

(Apparently they don't let women wear bras there either).


2. I've already paid for a gym membership this summer. To pay for an exercise class in addition to a gym membership when they offer classes at the gym? Unthinkable! So what if the classes are the wrong kind and are offered at inconvenient times and I have yet to go to one--it's the principle of the thing. I ALREADY PAID!

3. There is no Music in Bootcamp. (At least not this one).

4. Unlike Jillian Michaels who is imprisoned inside the tv and doesn't even know I'm watching her, a Bootcamp instructor is an actual live person who can see me. This means I can not totally blow off the instructions and do something completely different unless I want to look like a total assh@le.

5. Exercise that is grueling or unpleasant violates my religion, Crankyism, and Boot Camp sounded like a surefire recipe for Sin.


Why I Went Anyway:

1. It's offered a block from my house.

2. The Lobster wanted to do it and we have friends in the class.

3. I have been having trouble motivating to go to the gym lately.

4. Like, really, a LOT of trouble. I'd rather go for a colonoscopy.

5. I mean, seriously, it's like I HATE HATE HATE the gym all of a sudden. WTF is up with that, anyway?


And so here's a list I never thought in a million years I'd be making:


What I Loved About My First Bootcamp Class!

1. The Instructor was motivating and fun without being excessively perky.

2. The class drew a range of ages and ability levels but no one was really hard-core superfit. And we were encouraged to customize the intensity of the exercises, so everyone got a good workout but no one got their butts totally kicked.

3. Everyone was really nice, plus they all whined and complained companionably about anything that was the least bit difficult, just like I do. Paradoxically, this made me weirdly motivated to work out harder!

4. It was a nice mix of functional exercises which, when done intensely enough, I think counted for HIIT. Or at least they counted for SHIIT.

5. And I didn't have to think! It's been a long time since I've taken a class, and I'd forgotten how freeing it is to have someone else order your ass around for a while.

In summary: boot camp unexpectedly ROCKED! I believe I will be back!

And the moral of the story is: sometimes the Gun Toting Thugs take way too long to show up at your door! (Or something like that).


Any one else out there have a good boot camp experience? Tempted to try it? Or No Way In Hell?

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