Which Exercise Is Right For You?

Good Lord, what are earth are you doing here? Sorry, you made a mistake.

You were looking for the post right below this one, with its 3,378,087 comments. Which just proves that you All Love Crabby Better. That's fine. Just fine.

Don't mind me. This just means no one will notice if I don't put up an actual post here.

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Oh crap, you're still reading this, aren't you. Well fine. I'll publish a whole post then.

The Trouble With Californians

You know what's wrong with being from California? No, I mean besides the fact that people in 49 other states snigger when you tell them where you're from. I mean the fact that you can't adjust to other people's friggin' climate. (San Franciscans are tolerant about everything -- except for rotten weather.) It is waaaayyy too hot in Oregon right now. And too humid. They should fix their weather.

The point that I was meandering toward was that it's too damn hot to read a serious well-researched post. Hot weather = frivolous posts. It's a law.

So I've decided it's time to write a post for people who like the idea of exercise, but can't decide which one to chose.

Not sure what kind of workout to do today? Cranky Fitness can help.

If you're not sure whether you should get up and get those workout clothes sweaty, consult the Cranky Fitness Workout Quick Ref Guide. On the other hand, if you know you want to work out but can't decide what kind of exercise is right for you, we can help with that too.

Here is the Cranky Fitness Exercise Decision FacilitatorTM.

  • A printer
  • A set of darts
  • The ability to throw in a sorta straight line (or the ability to clear the place out before starting)

Warning: Do not throw the darts at your computer screen. Unless you're having a really, really bad day at work. And want to get laid off. Then it might be okay.

To play facilitate a synergized exercise routine:

1. Print out the Cranky Fitness Exercise Facilitator (CFEF).
2. Post the CFEF an appropriate distance away (for beginners, suggested distance of 2 feet).
3. Throw darts. If possible, throw them in the direction of the CFEF.
4. Examine where they landed on the graphic and follow that goal for the day.

  • If the darts land on the frig, that does not mean you can eat whatever's in the fridge and doesn't have someone else's name on it.
  • Darts that land on the floor are not meant to suggest that you should lie down and take a nap.
  • If your dart lands on "clean," that does not apply to the lunchroom refrigerator. Unless you work from home, in which case it does. Sorry.

Hey, I'll go back to researching health and fitness studies soon. As soon as I get air conditioning in here. Or a working laptop. One of the two.

Are you able to work -- or work out -- in hot, muggy weather?

I'm thinking I need a laptop that works while I'm in a pool. (Then I'll just have to get a pool, and life will be good.)

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